A Women's RV Forum run by Women RVer's!

I am starting this as a new topic. I was out yesterday dumping my tanks, and chatted with a lady and her husband at the dump station. I am sure a lot of you have had a similar experience with the "All by yourself???" shocked comment. And this seems to be almost always by older women who cannot imagine going or doing anything on their own. "You drive that big thing yourself?" Like I should have a chauffeur. The next question is always some version of "Aren't you afraid to travel by yourself?"

Anyway, I've received several such comments lately, and I am getting irritated at people who seem amazed that I am traveling alone without carrying a gun or having a big dog or two for protection. After all, they say, it's a lot different these days than it used to be. The assumption is that the crime rate is horrible these days, and I should at least be carrying a gun or two.

I have not been assaulted, robbed, or even threatened in the eight years I have been on the road. And in fact, crime rates have been DROPPING substantially for the last several decades, not increasing. And the statistics prove that this is a MUCH safer country than it used to be! Here are two articles I found from respected sources. I feel like I should print them out and pass them around to these amazed women.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2 ... n-the-u-s/

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/ma ... yre-wrong/

I actually know a woman that won't stay by herself. If her husband isn't home she has to have someone come stay or go stay with a friend. She has to camp with a friend. For a while they owned the camper together. I would hate to live like that.

I remember my grandmother, mother and mother-in-law get more and more afraid to be by themselves at night. I hope that doesn't happen to me. I'm going to fight it.

There are some things that I don't do because I know it could be dangerous. It's not often that I go somewhere alone at night. There are parts of town I wouldn't go in the daytime much less at night. I'm not going to Walmart after dark and have to walk in and out alone.

The only times I have been afraid camping was because of the weather. I have not liked the looks of a campground a couple of times and kept going.

Martha

I second those thoughts, Judy and Martha. I will also add the interesting comments from some women on the Facebook Solo Women (and Solo Woman Over 60) Travel sites, which includes woman from all over the world........Luckily like most of the women RV sites......membership has already sort itself out or they would not have joined......

I've quit many FB women's rv groups because of all the fear mongering. And I always laugh out loud at the "put out men's boots, two chairs, etc). That just draws attn to your fears.

I boondock a lot. It's actually my favorite way to travel and spend nights. In my 15 years full-time my only couple experiences of discomfort... First at a very unkempt rv park which today I would have pulled in and out... Then I didn't want to lose my deposit. But my 3 night reservation turned into a 1 night stay and I was history. The 2nd time I pulled into a place to boondock on a Saturday and there were already a dozen or more teenagers there partying. And drinking. I felt it prudent to move on. Guess what? I would have acted no differently if traveling with someone.

Keep your eyes and ears open whether traveling or not and follow your gut instincts.

I meet lots of people (your right Judy older women usually) that tell me I am so "brave" to be driving my RV. I now ask them "why am I brave and your husband isn't". I never get a good answer. Ticks me off. Nobody was born knowing how to drive, park it, back it up etc.

When people ask me about protection from crime, and do I carry??? I always tell them "oh yes, I have protection". No way am I telling them anything, this way they just think I have a gun, which I do not.

I refuse to act like a victim. I always act confident and purposeful. I keep out of harms way of course by trusting my gut instincts. I dont like the looks of a park, I move on. I usually am not out at night but not out of fear for sure.

I get the "You are SO brave" comment a lot also. Also, "I couldn't possibly drive such a big vehicle!" I like your answer about their husbands! And frankly, most dogs, big or small, are cowards and useless in an emergency!! (I remember once coming home at 2 am when I was a teenager and having to wake our dog up!)

I think we are all aware of our surroundings and are fairly careful, but that is a lot different than never going anywhere by yourself and being panicked all the time about being alone. I have left a campsite early only once. It was a commercial campground, and there were four men who spent a whole day sitting on a picnic table drinking beer. I had reservations for three nights, but left after two because I just did not like their looks.

The truth is that we probably had "sex offenders" living in our neighborhoods when we were growing up, but they did not get put on a list or reported on 24-hour news, so we did not worry about them. The news reports crime and "bad people" because it is not news to report on all the good things people do. I was once really sick with the flu for three weeks in Arizona and had all kinds of offers from people to take me to urgent care or pick up groceries for me. And urgent care and groceries were a LONG drive away. I have also had wonderful people help me out with things I could not do myself. I tell my kids that I am never really camping alone because there are so many good people around if I needed help.

Yes, I used to get the "are you alone!!!!!". Used to irritate the crap out of me. Especially from the men who act like women can't do anything without the help of a man. Like Beth, I only had a couple of times I wasn't comfortable and I simply moved on. That was one reason I chose an RV and not a trailer or 5th wheel Could simply move from bed to driver's seat and drive off. Actually a favorite place of mine to overnight while on the road, were old cemeteries. I hated freeways and preferred back roads and small towns. In Texas there are lots of little, old cemeteries on the backroads with lots of history. And always quiet, no drunks wandering around like the Walmart parking lots. Churches were another overnight site, if it wasn't a Wednesday or Saturday night. If anyone was there I always asked but usually just left early.

After nearly 13 years, I realize I am not getting the usual 'you are alone' question so much. When women say they couldn't do it, I tell them it wasn't something I thought I'd ever do! I haven't been on the road much so not changing campgrounds for new encounters.

I think the difference for me now is people are more interested in the Slingshot, and I get a lot of 'good for you' remarks. I also get 'you drive that?', 'so it's your turn on Saturday?', 'please tell me you drive that', etc.

I pulled into a Walmart once that had a 'secondary' lot at the far end of the main parking lot. Just didn't feel right so I moved on. Only time that happened.

I guess I’m an exception to what some others have experienced. In 7 1/2 years of RVing and 58,000 miles, no one ever said anything similar to what some of you have heard questioning/commenting about being a solo woman RVing. I’m kind of glad because I’m not sure how I would have responded. Maybe I would have just said, “Piece of cake!”
Sandi

An opposing view.

Well. . . I wasn't going to post this (I hate to rain on everyone else's parade), but since I have already written here on WomenRV about my "Terror at the RV Park" experience a few years back, I thought I would post the link to my story here:

http://womenrv.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=15679&hilit=newberry+RV+Park

I am sincerely glad that most of you have never had this kind of experience. I wish to God that I had not.

Although I try not to let it bother me (at least not too much), and have continued to go on many wonderful - and solo - rv adventures, however, I must confess that this one incident has definitely colored my outlook. Not enough to stop me travelling, but it has added a major dollop of caution when I do venture out.

I wish this had not happened to me, but it did, so I think it important to share an opposing view of this topic. I intend no offence to anyone.

I admit this experience has colored my outlook, and not in a good way. But it did happen to me, and could so easily happen to any one of you.

Especially when you are feeling happy and fulfilled with your current adventure, so are least expecting the adventure to turn around and slap you in the face.

It is not so safe out there as one might wish. General safety for a solo woman traveler is - probably - "pretty good".

However, it is by no means 100%.

Take care.

Anne

I have never had a problem (RV'ing since my 20's) and I stayed in the sketchiest RV Park/Motel in Klamath Falls I have ever stayed in. I was on assignment on contract so I didnt have a big choice. I stayed there until the snow melted then moved up the mountain to Round Lake Golf and RV Resort. HA HA HA okay, a few RV spots, no resort and no lake ha ha ha but it was much better but further away. In fact Laura came to visit me. Got all parked right next to me. Water hooked up, leveled and went to plug in the electric and the box was empty ha ha ha we laughed. So she just moved over one space and we had a huge area all to ourselves.

I carry a flashlight/taser and I sure wouldnt hesitate to use it on man or beast. I have used PA and some parks are much nicer than others. I even stay at one up by the Casino that is $18 a day with PA and you can stay 6 nights. Nothing fancy but very clean and many permanents but all sites are tidy.

My favorite one was at Inks Lake TX. The woman next to be asked ‘Aren’t you lonely’? I wanted to say ‘how could I be lonely with you and your EIGHT kids next to me?!?’ Alas my best retorts are always in my head.

I have been traveling via trailer now for 6 years, and have gotten the same questions everyone else noted. " Are you traveling ALONE Aren't you afraid? I hope you have a gun! Don't you get lonely?" So the answers are, yes I travel alone, no I am not afraid. It's always other women who ask the questions. Then they always say, I couldn't do that.
I have never had any problems, and luckily have never been leery of any place I have camped. I usually stay at St. Parks, National Forest, BLM land etc.
I think there are more and more women traveling, last year it seemed like I saw more women on their own, or maybe I just paid more attention!.

Anne, you had a terrible experience that was even worse because it was one of your first camping experiences. But, I think it was really unusual, and I hope you do not experience anything like it in the future. I would have reacted just as you did, but at least I have had a lot of positive experiences that would have balanced it.

I agree that caution, common sense, and following your gut are the best ways to stay safe. Sometimes things happen tho. After the last time I went tent camping and had that guy try to break into my tent in the middle of the night, I swore I would always have a hard locked door between me and anyone else, at night.

On my way out to CA from MN, the only time I had a bad feeling and left right away, was in a WM parking lot in Bozeman, MT. There was a large group of homeless people hanging around the area and the police came by to talk to them. I went out and asked them if I was safe where I was (there were other RVs parked around me), and the officer told me I would be better off not staying there. So I found another place to park for the night. Personally, I have always felt a lot safer at a campground, than a parking lot.

I also get a lot of comments from women asking if I am afraid to travel alone and that I am very brave to do so. I know there are risks, but it doesn't matter if I am on the road, at home, or at WM. There are risks everywhere. I have met the most friendly, helpful people at campgrounds. They always offer to help and like to chat and sometimes invite me to sit by their campfire. I am friendly so it is pretty easy for me to meet people around me. I also have good instincts about people and can sense bad vibes.