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My wonderful daughter and her wonderful husband have suddenly and unexpectedly had to move to Denver from the San Francisco Bay area due to a job change.

Not sure where to start about this. The possibilities for home ownership for them are significantly greater in Colorado than they are most places here in California. For example, they nearly closed on a 1-bedroom, 1-bath 650 sq. ft. 5th floor condo in the East Bay on the 5th floor of a 40-year-old building - but backed out at the very last minute when it was discovered that the condo was contaminated with asbestos (and it was a remodel, to boot). The agreed-on price for this condo was a fast $350,000. I'm not kidding on this - this was the actual price (which did not include condo fees).

My son-in-law, who I think the world of, is mid-30's. We had a nice chat before the move where he stated to me that he had always thought that he would have had a home of his own long before now.

This really made me sad, and made me think.

A brand-new, 4-bed, 2-bath, 1800 sq. ft., garage, home with a nice size lot, in the Denver area, is around $300,000. Big difference. Lots of possibilities in Colorado that do not exist for my daughter and son-and-law in California.

It just about killed me, but I put on my happy face (keeping the weeping part for alone time) and encouraged them to make the leap.

My daughter has said that they intend to "give it a year" and then decide what to do.

Here's the deal:

I am old, and, the last time I looked, I am not getting any younger (I try not to look too often). I do not have close friends or family left here in the area where I live anymore - my best friend and her husband moved 100 miles away a few months ago. She was the last. I am retired, and, technically, have nothing to keep me here.

I'm thinking, so, they give it the year, I stay here in California, and at the end of the year they decide to purchase a home and stay in Colorado.

That's a year gone.

In the Great Scheme Of Things (life, the universe and everything) one never knows how many years one has "in reserve". I'm pretty damn sure that I am closer to the end of this game, than I am to the beginning.

So. I'm thinking of selling out of California and moving to Colorado.

Not immediately (need to be sure the new job works out) but fairly soon. If I move now, I will have "that year" with my daughter, that I won't otherwise have (I wouldn't want to live too close to them - perhaps an hour away - I have my life, and they have theirs). I would probably have to buy a home there, because of my dog.

If they decide not to stay after the year, I can decide what to do then, too.

Thoughts:

1. I have always wanted to try living somewhere other than California before I go to the Big Dog Pound In The Sky
2. I have had California friends over the years move to Colorado, "for a try-out". None have ever returned to California.
3. The property tax structure and cost of living in Colorado is quite a bit less than it is in California
4. Many Colorado subdivisions have lots of open space and public walking trails. I walk my dog about two miles a day, it would be great to walk on a trail down a hill rather than down the sidewalk.
5. Colorado looks beautiful - but I have never visited Colorado
6. Etc.

I would appreciate your input, both pro and con. It is very helpful to me to throw this out to friends that I have never met (except online!). I know from my past requests for input, you are all kind enough to offer lots of un-biased suggestions, both "pro" and "con".

This is very much appreciated.

Thank you.

Anne

Anne, as someone who has made many many "leaps" in this life, my only suggestion would be not to act in grief. You are sad to have your daughter and son in law move away, and will miss them and the time "lost", but maybe instead, sit with the feeling and let a little time pass. See how you like going for a visit to Colorado, see what you think of the place. It's my guess that if sell out in CA you will be burning that bridge since it is so incredibly expensive to buy there; you wouldn't be able to "go home again" if you decided Colorado wasn't for you.

Maybe rent a tiny place there (or park your van in a state park) and see if you like it in CO. You could even rent your current place out for a year if you feel you need to go.

Just a couple of thoughts from one who's made some leaps and wished I could un-do a couple of them.

I leap into things. But you have the van and the ability to take a drive out there and look around before leaping into selling. Check out areas, etc. Personally, I love Colorado, and the cost of living in California is more than I want to deal with... As you were able to show. But I'd likely use that can and slide south to Arizona for winters! Options. You have options.

I would be hesitant to buy a home in Co. right off. There are a lot of options and having dogs doesn't always prevent you from renting. I think visiting in your van for a few times for at least a week or two at a time would help you get a a better idea of your wants/needs. I like the idea also of renting your house rather than selling until the year has passed and you all know how you feel about CO.

I love Colorado, (not the snow & cold of winter) but I can't
remember what dog breed you have but when I moved away
there were some parts of the Denver metro area that had breed
restrictions. Some parts didn't allow pit bulls but I don't know
if that was just a general term or not. There are many cities in
the metro area and each has their own regulations. But I moved away
16 years ago and all of that could have been changed.
I can tell you the west side is the more favorable side. Aurora
on the east side has a lot of gang members but also has a lot of
nice subdivisions. Lots to consider and I agree with the girls, drive out
and look around before you make the leap.

I agree, don't burn your bridges immediately. I heard, back when my Dad died that I should remind my Mom not to make any huge decisions/ changes for a year. Now that applied to death but I think it's true for grieving your daughter leaving for so far away too. I agree with others, go visit and investigate. You may love it, or not so much. Keep options open.
Velda

Since Colorado may only be for a year, I agree not to burn your bridges on California. That said, I've been to Colorado 6-7 times, all on the front range (Colorado Springs), and did many day trips into the mountains, up to Denver, Boulder, Monument, Pueblo, etc. It's beautiful out there. If you're not a snow person, Colo Springs may be good for you since it's considered a desert. A friend of mine moved out there to be near her sister's family when she retired, and I think she's forgotten winter snow storms living in the Springs.

There are some nice small towns, but utilities (gas, elec) may be more expensive and you may need a well, but all the water out there is pretty good. Or if you like more city / suburb types of livings, they are just as you describe, but can be a little more wild too (think bears getting hit on 25). My girlfriends subdivision has a cattle ranch at the end of their road, so there are plenty of wide open spaces.

Not sure how helpful this is, but I'd say follow your daughter & SIL out there for the summer, check areas out and stay in the areas in your van. Then you may have a better idea of what living out there is like. My uncle, who retired from Chicago PD retired out there and loved it for years.

Yes! After your daughter moves, go there and look around. Colorado is beautiful, but not for everyone. Ava is right about the dogs. I know what you have, but ,is it also called a "pit bull". You will need to search out that info.
I have heard parents, or a parent, should not follow their adult child to somewhere new as that child might move again, and then the parent is stuck alone in a new place.
Lots of choices, go slowly...Lyn

Ladies!

Thank you for all of the GREAT responses! Very much appreciated, much food for thought - and reading your posts is helping me to put the brakes on things - at least a little.

Queen:

Great post, and very thoughtful. Your statement "not to act in grief" took me up short. Who's grieving?!? I just miss my daughter!!! . . . then. . . it sunk in. You are correct. I am grieving. Best, as you say, sit with the feeling and let some time pass. Lord knows, I have months of purging/pitching ahead of me (started today!) before I could even be close to moving, so it really is best if I don't make things happen too fast: "Act in haste, repent at leisure". That's kinda me. . .

And likely that bridge would be burned if I jumped too fast.

And if I end up not moving - I will be MUCH better off having done the pitching!

Thank you for your post.

Beth:

Great post as well. I do have the van, I enjoy traveling in it, and (like Queen said) I could park it in a state park somewhere for a week or two (or more) while I got a feel for the place.

And, YES! I could slide that can (mental picture made me laugh!) south to Arizona p.d.q,, if the mood took me.

I like options.

Thank you for your post.

BJ:

Another great post. I think it would prove difficult - but, hopefully, not impossible, to find a place to rent with my particular breed of dog.

Making a few trips, checking things out, on several trips, is good advice. I might not like Colorado (but. . . what's not to like? ) Good advice too is renting my California house for a year. It would make it easier, if I could find good tenants.

Thank you for your post.

bluepinecones:

(Sorry, I don't always remember everyone's name on here). Another great post, reiterating what others have said. Consensus helps, believe me.

I can feel myself starting to calm down a little bit. At least for now!

Thank you for your post

Ava:

Still another great post! I feel very blessed!

The snow and the cold might, truthfully, be a problem for me. But I would not miss the 115 degree summer days we have here. Not one bit.

And you are correct about the breed-specific legislation thing. I own a Staffordshire Bull Terrier (not the same thing as a pit bull - they are different - but most people don't know, or care - the breeds are lumped in together so far as the breed laws go). I have owned this type of dog for more than thirty years.

A pit bull too. That dog was one of the great loves of my life.

Denver has these laws in force, as does some of the outlying Denver suburbs, including Aurora. And some of the suburbs do not. The problem being, if my dog ever got out of my yard (it has never happened - I am very careful - but the possibility is always there), crossed the line into an adjoining Denver suburb that DID have these laws. . . the way the laws are written, my dog could be picked up by animal control, taken to the nearest shelter - and immediately euthanized. I would have no recourse in stopping this from happening. I can hardly bear thinking about it.

However, Colorado Springs does not have these kinds of laws (as an aside, these laws are being repealed in many places - because the laws are not effective. It is not a breed problem, it is a people problem. When this breed is eliminated from an area, people just go on to the next big, muscular dog breed on the list. Thus the problem is not solved).

Anyway. I have already telephoned Colorado Springs animal control, and have been informed that they do not have such laws. Whew! Plus, Colorado Springs is about an hour from Denver - close enough to my daughter, without being too close.

Great advice, and good information. Great post, Ava!

Velda:

I'm starting to listen. Really I am, especially since you agree with everyone else.
Yes, I realize now, that I am grieving. But I am also afraid that I will croak (technical term!) before I see her again. But maybe I shouldn't worry so much - my own father lived to be ninety-seven. I probably have a long way to go!

And, yes, I need to keep my options open.

Great post, Velda!

Cheryl:

Much food for thought! Your post is VERY helpful! I have never lived in actual snow country (although in the Sierra foothills where I lived for many years, it might snow once a year for a day or two) so the Springs might be a good choice.
I'm sure that winter utilities will be more because of the cold - but maybe summer utilities won't be so bad.

To keep my house at 80 degrees when the outside temp is 115 or more really adds up on the electric bill. I have read that the average summer temp in the springs is in the 70's! Probably wouldn't need a/c.

And I do like wide open spaces.

You said that your uncle retired out there and loved it for years. . . did he eventually tire of it, and leave?

Great post, Cheryl! Thanks!

Lyn:

I have never told you this before, but you are one of my "Heroes" on here, traveling as you do. I think it is pretty awesome, and it also gives me hope for myself.

(Sigh) I'm starting to come around. All of you have said much the same thing - go there and check it out, see how I like it, and then decide.

This is really excellent advice. Also, as you say, not making a move until my daughter's situation has stabilized would be smart. I need to give my daughter and her husband a chance to get settled, and to decide if they like it there, before I make any moving plans for myself.

Or even before I show up for a visit. (Sigh) This girl (shhhhh!) is the light of my life, and if I did anything that caused her to turn away (as adding more stress to her already stressful moving situation might do - she has now moved away from all of her family and friends as well) would destroy me.

I know there are no promises in this life, but I would do anything to prevent that from happening.

And, who knows, I might not like Colorado!

Great post, Lyn!

Ladies, I sincerely thank all of you who have offered me the best kind of advice one is lucky enough to receive, on this topic and on past topics I have shared.

It is appreciated more than you realize. You ladies are someone I can "talk to", and get my more conservative wheels turning, before I get crazy and jump in with both feet without looking.

A very GOOD thing!

**THANK YOU ALL**

Anne

Anne as I was reading all the posts I was nodding my head yep that sounds right while at the same time
was thinking so understand why she wants to...we aren't guaranteed a certain amount of time...but think of it
being a time for her to get to miss you as well...when I go to Idaho I park in my dd's yard off a bit but none the less
am there...and some times I so know it is too close..but do it anyway...you will work it out....only been to CO a time or two
it's a beautiful state...if you move there I feel sure you will love it...
sheila

Hi Anne, maybe this coming summer 2017 you and I could go exploring around Colorado!!! RV Sue has mentioned some spots that are are breath taking that I would like to see. Thanks for the nice comments...lyn

I lived in Denver for a year. Colorado is beautiful!
Generally Colorado is very dog friendly. Good that you checked out the dog policies on your breed tho.

Summers there (Denver, Colorado Springs) are dry and warm but not super hot. Fall and spring are beautiful especially in the mountains! Winter does get snow (and occasional big snowstorms) but the snow usually is gone by noon the next day and it gets back up into the 40's to 60's. (golf courses stay open all year long). Occasional cold spells but they don't last long. Lots of outdoor things to do there, hiking, driving to small towns in the mountains, etc. Not a lot of water as far as lakes tho, some reservoirs and rivers. People are very friendly out there!

Colorado Springs is smaller than Denver and a short easy drive to Denver. Lots to see and do there and maybe a little less expensive than Denver. If I ever moved back to CO, I would go to Colorado Springs.

I agree with the others to take a trip out there and see for yourself and get a "feel" for it. I loved it right away but eventually decided it was still a little too much snow and cold for me (compared to SoCal). A year goes by fast, so don't make too quick of a decision. You could stay where you are at and just visit your daughter that first year a few times until you see how they and you feel about the area.

Good luck!

Anne,
Barbie got it right about the temps in Colo Springs. Even though it's a desert, the temps are perfect just about year round, just dry, so you need to remember to drink tons of water. I don't think in any of the summer/fall months I was there, did my friend have her A/C on. Maybe heat a bit in the A.M. to get the chill out, but not for long. Obviously, the farther north you go (or up in the mountains), the temps get snowier and colder.

My uncle also had a place near Dollywood, which is where my aunt lived mostly, but he spent almost his entire retirement in Colorado (Fountain I think). He'd go visit his wife once a year! Absence makes the heart grow fonder lol. They both moved back to Chicago burbs when they got older and needed to be near family, but he spent 25+ years out there.

Here you go, average temps Colorado Springs
http://www.visitcos.com/colorado-spring ... mperatures