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Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:31 am
by Queen
I've been absent a while, stopped back in and re-read my original post here, my how things have changed! Best laid plans and all.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7018Update: A few months after that post, while we were moving forward full speed towards getting out of here, my mom got sick. What has followed has been 2.5 years of open heart surgery, then failed kidneys, dialysis, a small stroke, and now a stage IV oral cancer. Mom is in a nursing home now and her end will be in the near future (weeks/months?), I love her so much but truthfully I am worn out.
In the time since she got sick we've gotten just close enough to being able to draw retirement that the Key West scenario is a no go. As much as we love the place it would be a big financial mistake; so we are back to planning an escape in the next couple of years.
I'm exhausted, but hopeful.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:51 am
by mitch5252
..
Welcome back, Mickie! I'm so sorry to hear all the bad news about your Mom...it's tough to watch our parents age. My heart goes out to you.
So, how else have your plans changed for you and your sweetie? Still plan to hit the road at some point? Fill us in a little more, if you'd care to. Glad you're back!!
(bet RVing to warm climes sounds really good after the winter Illinois has had)
..
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:03 am
by Queen
Hi Mitch! We're still trying to figure out what's next, I'm 53 and my honey will be 55 next week, the university retirement plan offers the option of retirement at 55... so we are trying to decide if that's doable. We'd have little money but could afford to buy and RV and hit the road with that amount, of course the question is "what happens when we are older and have to come off the road". We so badly want to retire and start enjoying life more, but the idea of being poor when we get old is a little unnerving!
And you are so right about IL winter this year, it's been crazy!! Snow piled up everywhere, it reminds me of winter when I was a little kid; although I sure enjoyed it more then.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:34 am
by BirdbyBird
Welcome back......The journey of being there for a parent is a special one but there are no real maps available.
Take a breath and research options......does the university (or other educational facilities need any online instructors?
Getting old and running out of money is frightening but be sure to balance it with living with a thousand regrets of what could have been. Somewhere in there you will find your "degree of risk" and the balance that you need for your life.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:16 am
by Irmi
Mickie, being a caregiver was the hardest job I ever had, so I know first hand how tiring it is. Others have given you lots of good advice. I say go for it. You only live once and you won't know what is possible on the road until you try it. Hubby & I did it and it's doable.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 11:24 am
by monik7
Queen wrote:Hi Mitch! We're still trying to figure out what's next, I'm 53 and my honey will be 55 next week, the university retirement plan offers the option of retirement at 55... so we are trying to decide if that's doable. We'd have little money but could afford to buy and RV and hit the road with that amount, of course the question is "what happens when we are older and have to come off the road". We so badly want to retire and start enjoying life more, but the idea of being poor when we get old is a little unnerving!
And you are so right about IL winter this year, it's been crazy!! Snow piled up everywhere, it reminds me of winter when I was a little kid; although I sure enjoyed it more then.
It's a hard decision to make when you just want some time to enjoy life without the drudgery of work. I retired early and am very glad I did. I think my decision was premature and I'm very lucky it has worked out OK. I had no retirement plan and the cost of health insurance was ridiculous - it kept going up every year. I hope you would have something in your plan to help cover those expenses until you are old enough for Medicare. If you could find some online teaching as Tina mentioned, that might help supplement. I watch the Suze Orman show pretty regularly and she makes it pretty clear to really think about retiring too soon. I doubt, however, that she would understand full-time RVing. She has people who call in and ask if they can afford to do or buy something based on their finances. I've often thought if I had called and asked if I could afford to buy my RV she probably would have said, "H__L No!!!" So it's a hard decision to make, but one we have to make for ourselves. Only you and your husband know all the details. Look at it from all angles and you'll be able to make a decision. At this point when you're worn down it might be best to let things calm down and give yourselves time to consider all options.
Sandi
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:35 pm
by avalen
just wanted to say welcome back
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:52 pm
by gingerK
Aw, Mickie I'm sorry about your Mom, that's so tough. Bless you for all you've done for her.
Glad you're back on the forum and I'll get to know you (and possibly meet up someday!)
I have no retirement plans in the works for now so I can't give any advice. Just hang in there.
Kathy
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:16 am
by skeedaddle
im new in here..after 34 yrs...my hubbys out...after this last job in SC.
we're early 60's...gonna sell the house & go.
i thought about all that old age biz too. but here at the house...work..work..and im still gonna get old.
id be in assisted living then...anyway.
so we'll change residency to Florida...so this state don't take all our $$..caution to the wind...& go.
whatever you do.. ..you have helped your mother and you'll decide the rest.
hope to see you in these pages.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:10 am
by Queen
Thanks for the thoughts and advice everyone.
Mom has taken a turn for the worse, heading to the nursing home first thing this morning to meet with the doctor. It may be time to stop dialysis and switch to comfort care. Warm thoughts and prayers please.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 7:13 am
by IrishIroamed
((hugs))) to you Mickie - you & your Mom are in my thoughts.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 8:57 am
by etexlady
Sorry about your Mom. It's tiring and frustrating and sad to take care of an aging parent. Hugs to you and your family.
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:15 pm
by Lopo
Oh, dear. Here I go: My outlook on this is more like Suzi Orman's, I need to say. I see us in a time of very high inflation with no hope of otherwise in our lifetimes. An RV is an expense, not an investment; it will never again be worth what you pay for it, and it new or old, it will suck more money out of your pockets than you expect. (I'd say few here will argue with that.) If you're buying it with disposable income, go for it, if not, have a plan for how and where you'll live when you're either sick of the road, have health problems, or are just too old and tired to keep going.
Those of us who grew up in the late 50's and 60's have never known hardship like our brave parents did who lived through the Great Depression, but economies are nothing if not cyclical. These are huge decisions with major implications down the road. You are completely worn down by caring for your mother, and this is even more reason for you to take a good long vacation and get out the pencil and paper and give this careful thought before you jump.
Lois (aka Devil's Advocate or Party Pooper or whatever)
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:50 pm
by monik7
Lopo wrote:Oh, dear. Here I go: My outlook on this is more like Suzi Orman's, I need to say. I see us in a time of very high inflation with no hope of otherwise in our lifetimes. An RV is an expense, not an investment; it will never again be worth what you pay for it, and it new or old, it will suck more money out of your pockets than you expect. (I'd say few here will argue with that.) If you're buying it with disposable income, go for it, if not, have a plan for how and where you'll live when you're either sick of the road, have health problems, or are just too old and tired to keep going.
Those of us who grew up in the late 50's and 60's have never known hardship like our brave parents did who lived through the Great Depression, but economies are nothing if not cyclical. These are huge decisions with major implications down the road. You are completely worn down by caring for your mother, and this is even more reason for you to take a good long vacation and get out the pencil and paper and give this careful thought before you jump.
Lois (aka Devil's Advocate or Party Pooper or whatever)
I agree with you, but you put it a little more bluntly than I did. Ages 53 and 55 are quite young to retire unless you have a lot saved up or inherited money. I hope they think twice or maybe more and consider at least a few more working years before retiring. They could put as much as possible aside to build up their savings. I remember my health insurance per month just after I retired was $250. For a couple years before qualifying for Medicare it was up to $950. When I left work I thought $250 was easily doable. I was so clueless I never even imagined it would go to $950 for one person.
Sandi
Re: Best laid plans...
Posted:
Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:54 pm
by drocknut
Mickie, so sorry to hear about your mom.