just to share a chuckle or two...
Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:21 pmMerry Christmas
To
All the wonderful women in my life
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do?
I'd dump all the silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door:
Things you have lost, but treasured before. . .
I'd give you back all of your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it - a cute little figure.
Then, restore the old color that once graced your hair,
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which once you were gifted,
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
So you'd look like a dream in those tight-fitting slacks.
I'd remove creases and wrinkles and leave only one chin,
So you need not spend time rubbing creams on your skin.
You'd not have hot flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No more sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes;
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're just an old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd always be hot:
You'd be a cute little chick with a fabulous bod.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be as light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. . . I'm simply just me:
The matronliest matron you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere;
Merry Christmas, dear friends, and a Happy New Year!
unknown author
To
All the wonderful women in my life
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do?
I'd dump all the silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door:
Things you have lost, but treasured before. . .
I'd give you back all of your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it - a cute little figure.
Then, restore the old color that once graced your hair,
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which once you were gifted,
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
So you'd look like a dream in those tight-fitting slacks.
I'd remove creases and wrinkles and leave only one chin,
So you need not spend time rubbing creams on your skin.
You'd not have hot flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No more sore, aching feet and no corns on your toes;
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're just an old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd always be hot:
You'd be a cute little chick with a fabulous bod.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be as light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. . . I'm simply just me:
The matronliest matron you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere;
Merry Christmas, dear friends, and a Happy New Year!
unknown author
