While here in Sarasota, I have been driving Art to his appointments. I have been aware of his health issues since we divorced but did not get overly involved till now. I could see/hear the decline in his health and his strength. His children do not seem to care or to be aware of how serious his situation is and apparently, I was not totally aware either since I did not fully understand CHF.
Art asked the CHF nurse practitioner if he was likely to die from CHF or some other reason. Michael said most likely from CHF. He went on to explain that life expectancy without treatment is 5 years from onset. With treatment, 7 years but that some of his patients are going on 10 years. That was such a shock for me to hear it. Art has had many health issues and serious surgeries in his lifetime. I always assumed he would not be with us very long. Since he made it to 81, I guess I thought he would live forever.
Art has finally agreed, in fact he is rather enthusiastic, to moving to a ALF. I will help him sort through his apartment and make the move. I will help him with the transition too as I know, in spite of his apparent enthusiasm, how difficult this will be for him mentally. Art is one of those people who when he entered a room, you knew it. He was so energetic, so physical. You either loved him or hated him. Even those initially put off by him soon realized that he was a most generous man. But he was high maintenance and that still applies. We were married about 26 years and although we agreed to divorce, we continue to be active in each other's life.
So I am becoming more educated about CHF. I feel good knowing that the ALF will prepare meals without added salt. He will have a social community, exercise and activities to keep him stimulated. I also feel bad for the admins at the ALF because they do not yet know what they are in for but I am encouraging him to give it a few weeks before he demands changes. In our visits to the ALF, two ladies have shown a keen interest in Art, so since women outnumber the men, he should not lack for female attention.
Tomorrow we begin sorting through his apt. I will say, "Throw it out." and he will say, "That is valuable! I might need that some day." We will both be reminded of why we are now divorced. Sigh...