How do you deal with fear?

[Nasoosie]

This has been a fascinating thread to read, and, yes----I have felt so many emotions as have been expressed on here more than once!

When I took off for Florida a couple of years ago after I retired from many, many years of teaching, hauling my little trailer behind my truck, all by myself, I have to admit I came so close to not leaving this house despite the realization that I would simply die having to face another extremely cold and snowy winter carting firewood into the house each night, spending the long, dark, freezing nights all alone, (no neighbors here, either) worrying about the pipes freezing, the power going off, and on and on. My son lives in FL, so I knew I had a spot to park my trailer, and I have a house in the Orlando area that belonged to my father. BUT----when behind the wheel, on the open roads for that first time, with my daughter accompanying me for the first 20 miles through the little towns I was afraid to haul through, I pulled into a McDonald's parking lot wrong to pee and get a cup of coffee and drop her off in the other car. I couldn't back up, I thought, so I just started crying and saying I was going home. I can't haul, I can't pull into a parking lot without having to back up, I can't relax enough to not cry----I was going home. I went into the place, and when I came out, Joe, Mandy's guy, had turned me around just like a piece of cake! I had no excuse. I turned out towards the road, almost in the HOME direction, then changed my mind, and headed south! (I 'eased' onto the road!) I cried until I got to the main highway south about a hundred miles later! "Why am I doing this?" "Can I make it all the way?" "Will I get stuck on a dead end street?" "Can I find a gas station when I need it?" Can I get out of that station! And on and on with needless worries. That first time I met an old college friend of mine in Syracuse who traveled the remaining miles with me for the rest of the way, or I doubt I would have persevered. But I have done the 1500 miles alone now three times, and each time it gets a bit less terrifying and almost fun!

As far as going to the FL GTG, if you won't be there for the winter, that would be a much too far drive for just a week, I would think. However, if you find that between now and then you find a way to leave New England for this winter, with enough funds to exist in a cheap camground somewhere, as was my original plan until my son bought his property, you could brave the elements and face down your fears by taking the trip just a "little trip" a day, as many told me to regard one long trip! It works, for me! I now travel about 200 miles per day, and find a safe place to stop for the night, either at a Flying J Truck stop, for free, or at a campgound when I get south enough for them to be open. When I know I have a couple hundred miles to go each day, it seems less daunting.

Hang in there, and know you are most definitely not alone!

[linann]

Deb, as others have said, there is a buyer for every property. Did you speak to more than one realtor? Good idea to check with at least three.

Soos' strategy of considering a long trip just a series of shorter trips works for lots of challenges. Hard to imagine tackling something huge, but much easier to deal with something through baby steps. It is difficult to have faith and relax during the transition when you don't know what will happen. Take it one day at a time and try not to worry too much. Everthing will work out.

[mizdeb]

Good Morning Ladies,

Well I will try this again. Somehow I manage to delete the whole post and since I am here for the duration as I am leaving work early I will have plenty of time to rewrite this. I have read and reread all of your posts and appreciate all the time you have taken to post.

Soos I have no problem pulling the camper or taking off for Florida, but I agree that unless I am in Florida it would not be worth going that far for a week. I have a membership in 1000 Trails so can stay in the system for two weeks then out for one, but and that is a big BUT, I know I will tend to stay in the camper and not venture out into the unknown unless I have a job that will give structure to my days. I am naturally a shy person and will not push myself until I feel comfortable with a situation. Getting to know all of you online made it so much easier for me to just drive up to Lori and the Sultan's campground and introduce myself. I would never have done that 10 years ago. Yet if I am in a position to work with people I can deal with them at first with no shyness and tend to feel comfortable which makes it easier to get to know them on a personal level.

Ellen it is nice to know that someone else has had to deal with plumbing, yard work, etc in a less than perfect home. Last night i went outside to do some yardwork and after sitting here all day thinking about I just didn't have the energy to deal with it. I did clean out grass from part of the walk, but my heart wasn't in it and I was ready to be done almost before I started. There is so much to do that I don't know where to start. I need to cut the grass and yet it has been so dry that I am almost afraid that if I do it will totally kill the areas that have been brown and are starting to green up after some rain in the last week. At this point I think being overwhelmed with the house is my main problem. Oh for the elusive buyer who will pay cash for this less than perfect house I call home. I think I can make the rest work once I have that problem out of the way.

Have a great day.
Deb

[ellenw]

Ellen it is nice to know that someone else has had to deal with plumbing, yard work, etc in a less than perfect home.

Deb - I think that was pooker who was empathizing with the house problems. I've had the luxury of living in an apartment for the past 3 years, watching someone else take care of whatever problems crop up. After more than 30 years of home ownership, it feels odd not to have equity, but I have a home and it works for me.

[mizdeb]

You got me there. Sorry for the mix up. I typed my reply three times before I finally got it posted. It kept deleting itself. No wonder I messed up.

[ellenw]

No worries - and by the way, I love the picture of Duncan.

[Pooker]

Deb - you can call me anything you want! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a cash buyer will come along for you. Might take some time, but your solution is out there!

I keep losing posts, too. I was going to ask Beth what the problem was after I lost the 2nd or 3rd post and had to start over, but now it seems to be okay. I must have done something wrong, but it sure was frustrating.

Hang in there, kiddo. Newspaper editor, 90-yr-old Regina Brett's first two rules of life are: 1) Life isn't fair, but it's still good. And 2) When in doubt, just take the next small step. She has 40-something more rules, but thought you'd get some hope from these 2.

Pooker

[mizdeb]

Feeling better about selling the house. Realtor came this afternoon to do a full assessment and has come up 20,000 above her first estimate just looking at the outside. She made me a very, well at least happier, camper. I asked her if there was hope of selling this place before winter sets in and she answered there is always hope. From her mouth to God's ears. She has left me to think about it and talk it over with my forever friend, Billie Jo, who by the way has been my best friend for 48 years. I actually trust her judgment more than my kids. Billie said get it on the market and continue to work on the projects while she does her job and gets it sold.

She gave me project suggestions that should to be done which won't increase value, but will make it more appealing to buyers and won't break the bank. She seems to think that the house is very comfortable without having to strip all the wallpaper and paint everything beige. Now to find that buyer with cash in hand.

[MsJane]

There can be fear in the unknown especially when stepping outside of the comfort zone. I deal with it with one step at a time but also knowing that getting started is half of the battle.

It's hard to get rid of stuff when memories are connected to it so I can't bring myself to tossing stuff in the trashbin. However, I have no problem with putting the stuff in a box with a "Free - take me home" sign. I'm ok with the idea or impression of someone else having it as I know that items do not have memories, people do.

Your posts & the replies from members have touched my heart.

[JanetA]

they say fear comes from what is unknown.. tht is what your future will hold. I was gonna say rent the place but someone else beat me to it. I also like the owner finance, as is thing too!

let us know what you do. we ARE interested!


bless ya!



J