Off-Topic. As usual. :-)

[BirdbyBird]

In my mind there is that image of the Walton's sitting around the table in the farm house up on Walton's Mountain with three generations sharing their lives together and supporting one another..... Then I shake the image from my mind and accept that life presents different environments and choices...... I am not sure what my independent, introverted spirit could handle that "Grandma/Grandpa" sort of connection. On a sliding scale I am at the other end. Because of her mental health issues and her divorce, my mother spent years not communicating with well her children for what she thought were valid reasons. My father was always close to my brother and I (my older sister passed away while I was still in my early 30's) but because of my step mother's jealousy of father's connection to us, she spent a lot of energy trying to interfere with our spending a lot of time together. He was always there for us if we needed him but overall always trusted that we could make good decisions and didn't really "need" him. His marriage to our step mother was the one "not quite right" thing he did with his life and my brother and I avoided that toxic household atmosphere when ever we could. Sadly, it is one of the reasons I don't look forward to holiday gathering even today. As our father got older, my brother and I got better at spending time with my father and ignoring (using our teflon skins) with our step mother. So my life skills play a big part in what my relationships to my children are. As a family , I never built in any "family" traditions. I am very happy to see the healthy, independent, caring adults that they have become. I have been made to feel welcome to join them in the family "traditions" that they have or are building in their lives. They have figured it out.

Growing up in the mid-west, I was aware of young people that made some of their college decisions, career decisions and where to live decisions based on some thought to stay "near" their family. I always told them to decide where they wanted to go and what they wanted to go, but did ask that maybe it be some where that I would like to visit. Mainly not to "use" sense of family as an excuse not to do or go someplace at that time in their lives. It worked. The neat part is that neither of them limit what I can dream and do, at least not at this stage of our lives. They leave what ever "society expectations" of women my age, out of the current equation. They have done a good job raising me and are now some of my best mentors. I expect that as needs change the our relationships will change but life is not a fixed thing. One guarantee is that it can and will change.

[SoCalGalcas]

Interesting topic. I guess I am quite unusual. All the kids, grandkids live in San Diego. We see one another often. I live with the eldest daughter. As far as I know, we all get along. I do keep my mouth shut when hearing of their decisions!
Sandi, yes, post here so we may keep track of you!
Lyn