About a month and a half ago, something happened. I can't say what. But I suddenly turned the corner -- finally -- in my grieving. I have made peace -- even embraced -- being alone and even relish the freedom to make all of my own decisions and charting my own life.
I took one baby step last week. It may sound silly, but I changed my name on Facebook back to my maiden name. It felt SO good. Like ME. I'm going to follow through with a legal name change.
Yesterday I took another step. With the huge real estate meltdown, the desert resort town of St. George, Utah has had a precipitous drop in property values with all of the foreclosures and short-sales on the market. On Monday I saw a new listing for a two-bedroom condo there in a complex that I had my eye on. It is listed for HALF of what it sold for in 2006. So I made a full-price offer yesterday, sight unseen (except for the photos on line). It is a private listing (not a bank repo), so I feel far less like a vulture.
That will give me a turn-key home base. If that is accepted and my due diligence turns up nothing ghastly, we'll move to closing and I'll put my house on the market. I made the mistake of moving into Jim's house when we married, and it was never OURS. It was his and he could be very territorial (though he tried not to be). I have wrestled with trying to make that house my own for five years now, and I give up. It has ghosts of happiness and resentments past. It's time.
Here is the MLS description (always a bit suspect) and a few pictures:
NICEST END UNIT in Turtle Creek! This condo has been UPDATED with tile floors, wood flooring and updated kitchen. This 2 level home has TWO MASTER SUITES! It is a perfect home for roommates as each roommate has their own bedroom, own bathroom and privacy. MOVE IN READY! And the best part: there is an organic garden planted and producing in garden planter boxes on the back patio!
I'm trepiditious (is that a WORD?) but I need to move on. This will free up my finances and allow me to travel more easily. I don't know if St. George as a community will become "home" but if I want to go "home" (SALT LAKE) I'll still have my six-wheeled casita. ;~*)