Stressed?

[avalen]

Son got stopped for blocking the crosswalk and
guess what...his license is suspended. Ticket and the car was impounded cause he also had no proof of insurance. His little girlfriend is
the one with the license and she was suppose to be doing the driving. hmm...wondering whats up with that, come to find out her license is suspended too. Well....he thinks mom is gonna get the car out of impound for him...NOT! until I got a letter from ADOT (Arizona dept of transportation) I signed the title over to him in december, he NEVER transferred it!
I am livid! How dare he put my drivers license in jeapardy! So I get on the phone and make some calls, insurance and motor vehicle to confirm what I thought to be the case. Luckily, my insurance company had not dropped the insurance off the policy, this is good, I'm
covered there, but if I don't get the car out of impound ADOT will attach a $500 fine on my drivers license for abandoned vehicle. Impound is $150 and possibly storage fees, I still have to check into that part, will call the storage yard on monday. Can't do anything of course until friday. After numerous calls and getting myself calmed down to think rationally I tell son....here's whats gonna happen...payday I will go get the car and you won't get any rent cause that rent money is going for the impound fee. You'll have
to figure out your own rent situation. Then...we will go right over to motor vehicle, and I will do the transfer myself. end of problem.
After which I can then call the insurance and tell them to drop the insurance on that car, that will free up $50 on my budget.
I don't understand how one individual can do so well for three and a half years and soon as he falls in love with that nutcase of a
girlfriend he forgets all reasoning and priorities. We all know somebody was thinking with the wrong head. I've tried really hard to stay
out of his business and mind my own but when it comes to my drivers license being in jeopardy of a black mark...puts me over the edge.
Next month isn't getting here soon enough. So there it is, why I am so danged stressed out.

[avalen]

questions I drilled him with...
why didn't you show the insurance card, it was in his wallet
where was your wallet?
lost, which is why he didn't do the transfer cause they needed his identfication.
No communication to me since the new girl friend.
and I signed the title to him at Christmas. Right now I'm kicking myself for this whole issue with his car and calling my own son a really bad names I can't say, only think them.

[Liz]

((((Hugs)))), Ava. It's tough to turn your back on your adult irresponsible children, but you have to do what's best for you, and ultimately it will be best for him. I'm looking forward to when you can get back in your own home almost as much as you are!

[Carolinagal]

Oh Wow, Ava. I just thought I had problems, I am so sorry to hear all of this has happened when you were so close to getting out on your own again. Girls in your son's life Do make a difference, I know that.

I sure hope everything works out the way you have laid out here and that soon the rest of your plans will fall into place for you.
Vent all you want here, its helps, I think to have somewhere to get all the thoughts and upsets out of your system. Don't bottle them up, they fester.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

CArol

[relaxing101]

Ava -

Lots of hugs for what you are going through! It amazes me how much 'family' can hurt 'family' and not think twice about it! I have been and am still going through a lot of the same. I have tried to get 2 sisters (adopted) and a brother to go to Illinois next weekend to celebrate the 95th birthday of the woman who raised all of them but they are all 'too busy with other things'. What a shame! But life goes on so I will be there with her! The rest is left up to God!

Good luck with getting out and on your own as soon as you can!

Bonnie

[avalen]

the ironic things that happen....seeing how he's being punished himself for being without his car (and his work tools are in the trunk) he
had to get out his scooter (he has 3) so he loads up other tools on the scooter to go do his little jobs for the landlord, well I come home
one day and think he isn't home cause the scooter is gone and go in the back room to feed the cat, oops sorry she's up on the bed
naked and son there too but not naked.
I thought no one was home so I hollar from the livingroom, wheres your scooter? They say all 3 are in the carport, ummmm, NO, there are only two! So he sends her out to count like I can't count
One got stolen, luckily it wasn't the one with his tools on it. I guess its karma.

[chalet05]

Ava, so sorry for all the stress!!

[Bethers]

Oh Ava, I'm laughing and could be crying, too. Big hugs to you.

[dayspring39]

Oh Ava so very sorry... hold your breath... you will soon be out on your own again...
Me and My Shadow

[VickieP]

Oh Ava, try closing your eyes and go back to when you were living in your 5er. Remember how it was and how it will be again soon. You'll get through this, sometimes I wish we could learn lessons without having to actually go through them, but some people will never be responsible for themselves and we have to just let them fall where they may, as hard as that is.

[Redetotry]

Sorry this has happened to you Ava, I hope it doesn't delay your plans to get out of there! Since it sounds as though this car belongs to you, why don't you sell it now and use the $$ to move? Life is too short to let others take advantage of you.

[mitch5252]

..
Just think - all the drama will be over with soon and you'll be back in the comfort of your own home!
..

[judi]

I agree with Redetotry - the car belongs to you - sell it and keep the money. I don't know your whole situation but from what I read, your son has not done much to deserve the car. So sorry you have to go through this.

[avalen]

its his car, he worked for it, got from the landlord but it was put in my name because he didn't have his drivers license, (my bad and I wasn't thinking ahead) But yes, the thought occurred to me to get a new title, ($4 and yes the lady at motor vehicle said I could do that) get it out of impound and sell it for the impound $$ to a little gal at work whos car blew an engine. However, if I ever hope to see my son get out of his slump I decided it would be better to just hold off on paying the rent and use that money instead for the impound. This way he suffers twice.
He still has to go another week until he gets his car back and then on top of that he still has to work extra for the landlord to make up the difference in the rent. Let that stress be on him, next month I hope to be out of here and I won't have to see the stress he'll go through. If
he wants to keep his car he'll have to get plates and insurance or leave it in the car port. In AZ, he can own the car without a license and even pay for insurance on it. Just don't drive it I've made arrangements with my oldest grandson to give me a ride down there on payday to bring the car home. If it ever gets impounded again, it will all be on him. He better stop driving on a suspended license.

[Gentleladybear]

Ava have to agree with what you are doing. He sounds so much like my grandson. This takes the burden off you, puts it squarely on him, you leave him with the car and having to work the problems out from there. Good luck to you on being back on your own.