A deep topic ...

[Barbzeee]

Janice... I tried to write to you goodness..maybe 20 times if that..and each time I closed it.. and sometimes when I thought .. this is the one.. I got the Page Error and I guess there were reasons for it... and now I'm home and was reading through again.. and came across where Cedar posted to you.. and boy.. I see a lot of us come to the same target.... I can't relate to the way you lost your husband.. but I can relate to losing both husband and child and then to go through many lost pregnancy to never having a child again.. and making blankets and booties for others while in tears... yeah hurts but I had to get on with my life... My new life..or go Nuts ! No other way I could put this...

My feelings for you and your pain.. are there like all the other sista's.. and we bring each of us..the caring we've developed and our bond gets stronger.. even though we've never met.. (amazes me).. I want to be able to say, " Janice, is this what you want ? Is it what you need...Are you looking for more Pain.. Why do you feel you have to punish yourself ? Now I know I'm not the tea and sympathy type.. however, I do have lots of compassion..but I'm also the type that says, " Get over it and let it go " Nothing you can do to change how or why ..but there are things you can do to change what happens to you.. and yes.. life is pain.. it's also love, and happiness.. whether it be just sharing a few stories..or even some great wisdom that you know can help someone else...whether they listen or not...

You are a strong woman... I do hear you roar too ...and you need to step it up a notch.. and move on.. You will heal once you let it go...and if by venting here helps you.. by all means please do...cause we all need to do that and we all need to listen because in your venting or mine we help each other..maybe not at that moment but down the road...

I know you can and will turn this all around... and it is about YOU.. no one else...You did your part by helping that boy... and I really admire you for that...cause Janice.... there would be no way I could.... You are a better person than I... trust me.. I have to work on my hatred big time... So see.. you are already a step up and moving on is just your choice...

So Sista.. from me to you ... Here goes.... Step up.. and come to the plate and pick your next menu..cause you need a change... You've got a hell of a lot to offer...and dear you are a terrific woman.. so go for it...

I enjoy always reading your writings.. and I can reach in each time and get where you are at... your vernacular is amazing.. and you need to write more often...

You are deeply in my prayers..and I hope to some day meet up with you..

God Bless You

[oliveoil]

I have read your post several times & have been uplifting you in prayer!

First I don't know where you are in your walk with God---as I'm not in your head or in your heart----& it isn't really any of my business!!!!!!

But do know for sure-- as one who has Jesus in my heart & the Lord of my life------there is not any way I can understand what you have been through or going through--as I have not experienced what you personally have gone through--- but do know that I care & I love you in Jesus Love & my heart hurts for you & what you have been through!!!!!!!!!!

I care & you will be uplifted in my prayers & just know that God has all the answers & we don't have the answers----!!!!!!!

Only God knows what is best for you-------I could give my opinion----but it is only "my opinion"-- I don't know what is best for you at this time-------but God will give us the best--- if we leave the decisions to him!!!!

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not worry about anything, but in EVERYTHING by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.

You have been through so much------& I can say NONE of us really knows what you have been through! But I do know -ALL of us care about you!
Blessings to you! May God continue to carry you through these times & you feel God's love & his presents with you at all times!

[snowball]

Janice my heart goes out to you...it did at the time it happened and I didn't even know you then.
A lot has been said a lot to obsorb and totally take in
May our Father in Heaven bless you with insite as to what is best for you.
sheila

[Getupngo]

Wow, Barb, you caught my attention when you asked me why I felt the need to punish myself. Whew! I need to think that one over. Guilt is a normal part of the grieving process, I think. There are a few dozen things I wish I'd done differently ... but I try to cut myself a break for being simply human.

I do know that no matter how horrific one's circumstance, I haven't cornered the market on pain ... it IS about getting up off the mat, however many times we have to (because as you know, the grief flattens you, you get back up, the grief flattens you -- but maybe for not quite so long this time -- you get up .... buy an RV .... live out one's dreams).

Thank you everyone for your loving support. I have leaned hard on you all this last while. You've been wonderful.