I Googled my name

[asirimarco]

Just for the heck of it the other day I Googled my last name - sirimarco. I was so excited that my jewelry site showed up on the first page I clicked on "next" - there it was again. Then imagine my shock when the last item on the page was our son John's obituary. Yes he has passed away - 4 days after Christmas in 2006 - a camping accident - he was 41. But he was not any one famous, political etc. just an ordinary guy living and working in Lake Havasu, AZ. Don't know why it would make Google. It is still bothering me. My daughter-in-law put it in the Havasu paper and I'd never seen it.
I saw an interview with Bill Cosby a while back and they asked him about his son's death and he replied "It doesn't get better, it just gets different." So true.
Another friend who lost a son 14 years ago told me about the "frying pan effect." Everything will be fine for a long time then all of a sudden it hits you again. Your heart stops, your stomach drops and you just want to sit down. I can still hear his younger brother's voice when he called to tell us. It must have been so hard for him.
Sorry for the downer - it takes a day or so to accept it again. Think I'll go out and watch for the deer.

[oliveoil]

AMEN--------- I understand-------many of us do also!
Just know we care-------& have an understanding of where you are coming from!

[Getupngo]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, and that you got hit in the face like that. Must have taken your breath away. I lost my DH suddenly four years ago, and for me, the grief still surfaces with intensity with no rhyme or reason. There was news coverage of his death, and so if I google my name, some of those stories still pop up.

I wrote my DH's obituary, and the day it first appeared I opened the paper to see it. When I saw my dear, lovely husband's picture on the obituary page, I fell to the floor in a convulsion of grief. And I thought I was prepared to see it.

My guess is that Google picked up your son's obit because of your unusual name. It scours the Internet (especially newspapers) and there is at least one site that collects obituaries from all over the country and puts them in a searchable database.

Again, my condolences on the loss of your son.

[Redetotry]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son John. I am still reading, (slowiy savoring) of your journey down the Pan American Highway in your 24' motorhome and I sort of feel like I know your family, well your family as it was at the time of your trip. I love the sense of adventure that must have prevailed throughout and can imagine the wonderful memories you all made during the adventure. I hope those memories comfort you now knowing you and your DH gave the family such an amazing experience.

My thoughts are with you at this time.

[retiredhappy]

I understand that grief hits you at different times and ways. For the last years of her life, my mom lived with me. She did all the grocery shopping as she loved checking prices and finding sales. I HATED it. About 3 months after her death, I thought I was handling it really well. I was in a grocery store going up and down the aisles looking for something that mom would have known exactly where it was. All of a sudden I'm bawling like a baby in the grocery store aisle. I know people must have thought I REALLY hated shopping. Can't say it gets better, it gets different.

[Mtntophoundz]

I agree Karen, it gets different. I lost my dad 15 years ago in a car accident. My mom and I were on a trip and at the time we were in WA state. I live in TN. I have had grief hit me at the strangest times. The worst was the my son's first day of school. Not my wedding, birth of my kids....but the first day of school for Brent. I think that just shows how much love we have for our lost family members.

[Bethers]

Yes, it just gets different! Hugs to you - for having this thrown up at you the way it was. Loss is very difficult, and will slap us in the face at the strangest times. Just remember when it does, that you can (after a while) turn it around and use it as good memories of the person.

Or of the animals - I have those same moments over losing many of my furbabies - who were my children.

[Cedar518]

Carol,
My sincerest sympathy to you. I can't imagine how that must feel. Just know that your forum friends are here for you,... hugs,...