I'm feeling sad ...

[dcricket]

Janice, you did what you could. Lifes all about choices. Good Lord took this worry out of your hands and is allowing you to get on with your life. You did done good, and she can not fault you for extending a hand. Some take longer to hit bottom than others.

[Nasoosie]

Janice you are to be commended for giving the girl a new chance to get herself and her life together. Unfortunately, for those with addictive personalities and habits, actually getting free of the past destructive behaviors is very much more difficult than those who have never been there can ever know. And an addict can have the very best of intentions, and have the belief "you can actually DO it this time around."

I have had many friends throughout my long years whom I have seen make these attempts to 'change' and 'reform' and 'get clean' and 'get free.' Only in very rare occassions does this work, and the ones who make it do not necessarily have anything going for them more than those who don't make it. Religion doesn't seem to make a difference, nor does money or lack of money, nor desire to achieve. Support from friends sometimes helps, but more often does not help. I have yet to figure out exactly what it has been that has allowed some of my friends to not die or end up in jail or incarcerated for the rest of their lives. It is a puzzle.

Self-discipline is a term that those of us who are free of addictions like to throw around, as if it's a cure-all for what's going on-----"If only you would just say NO" kind of poppycock. That works about as well as "Just say NO to sex and drugs" works for teenagers. One has only to look at statistics to realize how lame is this strategy. My theory is there is something very deep-seated in the psyches of addicts that simply will not allow them to stop anihilating themselves, and sabotaging their lives. Friends can't go there, nor can family members. Sometimes psychiatrists can reach the event that triggered the addiction, but can they help the addict deal with it? Perhaps in rare occassions, some help dealing with the behavior can be practiced. I like to think of 'self-discipline' as akin to "quit breathing"-----both will feel as if you are going to die if you try them.....and, sometimes, you WILL die trying them. Both are also equally impossible to addicts as the latter is impossible to non-addicts.

Anyway, congratulations, Janice, for giving it a try. Now, get free of any guilt or "what ifs" and get thee camping!!! Enjoy your own life with a renewed vigor! Give yourself a pat on the back for your taking her in, and know you did what you had to do-----at least this once! And, as you say, join up with another soul who can appreciate your life and you, and can share a life with you.

Happy Sunday!!

[Getupngo]

I hope she finds her way as well. I packed up her things this morning and her son is coming by to pick them up. I think he will be ASTOUNDED how much she has accumulated since she got out of jail in December. But the up side is there are five or six bags of groceries he can use.

Then, I'll have my door re-keyed and return to life as usual. I'm moving quickly in case the court releases her on her own recognizance Monday.

[carold]

Good for you Janice. You did what you thought was right and it did work for awhile. You can only do so much. Nice to know there are still caring people out there. carold