Small Victory Over "Madness"

[monik7]

I know a lot of you read my plea for ideas on what to do about my broken relationship with my daughter. Well, I thought I'd post a positive update about a small victory over the madness she injected into my gift-giving to my grandchildren. She said I didn't give enough presents at Christmas to my grandson even though I spent the same on him as his sisters. Well, now I'm in the process of buying presents for my oldest granddaughter's birthday on Nov. 1. However, today I realized I had more gifts for her than the number I had given her younger sister in June (because the younger one had gotten an expensive Lego set like her brother did at Christmas). So I had the same no-win situation. I spent the same on both granddaughters but the older would get more in number. I know a lot would say just give money, but I feel I need to finish this year's birthdays with gifts since that's the way it started. Beginning with this Christmas and with birthdays next year, I'm pretty sure it's going to be equal money to all.

I was so upset by this madness, trying to remember numbers and figure this out fairly, I wanted to show my daughter what she had created and texted her asking if I should return the extra gifts for the older one even though it would mean I'd be spending less on her. I did this to show her the insanity she had created by her earlier accusation. Get this! She texted back not to return anything and to go ahead with what I had bought. As I explained in my other post, she never apologizes and she didn't this time either, but it's a small victory for me and I wanted to post something positive after my depressing earlier post. So hallelujah for common sense. While I wish I could, I by no means expect much of a thawing or improvement in our strained relationship, but "baby steps" as they say, right?
Sandi

[snowball]

baby steps yes but that works
Hugs Sandi
sheila

[Bethers]

You are letting her make the decision. Smart move. Maybe that's the way to move forward.

And small victories are still victories. Way to go.

[Redwahine]

Good for you

[chalet05]

You handled that well! Yes, little steps are important.

[BirdbyBird]

Power struggles are non existent when the choices are all on the other party....and you are can put forth what you feel are decent choices you can live with....

[grammynmaggie]

So glad things are working out for you
I know where you're coming from
but have no advice for you...
When I get my relationship figured out with my kids
I will be glad to share...
have a great day and stay safe donna

[mtngal]

Hope it's a fun birthday!

[mitch5252]

...Beginning with this Christmas and with birthdays next year, I'm pretty sure it's going to be equal money to all.

..
Just think how much easier that will be on you, and the kids can get/save for exactly what they want.

At the time George died, he had five children and ten grandchildren and a great-grand on the way. YIKES!!! My brain could NOT come up with ideas for all those people that would be worth a rat's a$$ without putting us in the Poor House (children are so very spoiled these days), so it became what I have referred to for years as The Great Money Exchange - we give them each an envelope with cash and they give us a WalMart gift card. Absolutely ridiculous.

The final year George that was able to participate, our only "Gift Giving" was a hefty donation to the excellent and expensive dinner that the oldest son always prepared for the entire group.

So, enjoy the freedom your daughter's decision has given you in the shopping department!!! Give your brain a well-deserved rest at CHRISTmas.

Regards,
Scrooge

..

[monik7]

Give your brain a well-deserved rest at CHRISTmas.

I love this Mitch. I've always lamented what Christmas has become. I would much prefer to bring the kids along and get back to the REAL meaning of Christmas. My kids and grandkids have all gone to Christian schools, but then it all gets lost when the Chistmas shopping frenzy starts (earlier and earlier each year).
Sandi

[Olive600]

Such good news, Sandi. I hope helps everyone move forward peacefully.

[JudyJB]

I think kids get harder to shop for anyway as they get older because they have stronger preferences, so I bet they would appreciate a gift card so they can do their own shopping anyway.

I have always had a hard time shopping for daughters-in-law because I raised sons. Now I just get them something for their homes together and focus on the kids who are little and happy with almost everything they get.