Why is it so hard to say goodbye?

[Sandersmr]

After Daddy passed away, Mom said she could take comfort because she could still feel his presence. One day, all of a sudden it was gone. She told my sister that in a phone conversation and my sister told her, "I know, he's here!" Seems she had been on the treadmill in the basement with no one in the house. One time, she felt him tap her on the shoulder. Another time she caught sight of him on the stairs. Now my dad had never been to this house because my sister moved after he got so sick - but he found her. This was also about the time my sister's cancer came back - coincidence?

She also saw him in the days just before she died. I would like to think he was waiting for her when she crossed over.

[pattyk]

I sold our house a year after my husband died to some good friends. My husband loved that house. It seems he is haunting it. They have a light that comes on when no one is around. Things get moved. The man said he saw my husband walking naked down the hall one night. I guess my DH was not happy about my selling. I've tried talking to him and it seems things have gotten better.

[Colliemom]

Deb, I am so sorry for you loss. There isn't much I can add to what the others have said. But you know in your heart that you cared for him and stayed by him till the very end, so you will have no regrets. God has taken him to a better place and has healed him. He will be there waiting for you to join him when it is your time. In the meantime he is reunited with his family members who have gone before him.

Eveytime I read thread like this, it brings tears to my eyes and I remember the trips to the hosipital and caring for mom with Hospice when she had her cancer. And I was there when she took her last breath in the middle of the night. It left a deep hole in my heart but after it was all over and the funeral done, I knew in my heart that I did right by my mother, being there for her just as she was always there for me. I spent 7 good years with my dad after mom died. We did a lot of things together, especially taking day trips here and there as he loved to be on the road. Then he had a heart blockage that required open heart surgery, only later to develop a blood clot in his lower intestine a few days after surgery. I was really pulling for him to pull through, but God had other plans. He missed my mom and it was time to go to her. Again, another hole in my heart which to this day hasn't healed.

But we find the strength to go on, to pick up where we left off, to do the things we need to do and even do the things we haven't tried before.

I don't know if you have seen this poem, but I think it's so true.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

[BarbaraRose]

I had a similar poem printed on the program for my mom's funeral. Very nice!

I have lots of stories about my mom visiting me after she passed. She even had some influence on her funeral arrangements that were more than coincidences. I have also seen and/or felt several of my pets that have crossed over. My dad "saw" his dad the night he died (my dad was in MN and his dad was in CA). His dad came to say goodbye. The next morning my dad got a call saying his dad had passed away the night before.

I also believe in "dream visits". They are different than regular dreams. When I had dream visits from my mom, she would just pop into a dream that had nothing to do with her, and she always looked much younger and very beautiful, and a lot more self confident that she was in life. She would hug me and tell me she loved me. I would feel very emotional and tell her I missed her and loved her. Then she would leave the dream. I would wake up feeling really happy and feeling like I was really with her. I don't have those much anymore tho but still feel her around in other ways. She and I were very close.

[Echo]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

The loss of someone so close and loved is a balance of grief, satisfaction, heartache, relief, sorrow and a certain happiness that he is no longer suffering. Loneliness will show it's face but also a contentment that he is not totally gone. Memories are wonderful things.

[Sandersmr]

Sue that was the poem my sister wanted in her funeral bulletin.

And these lines:

I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.

My sister was cremated and for a while afterwards we tried to find the right "memorial" for her as she didn't want to be in a headstone in a cemetery. But Audrey needed something concrete to remind her of her mother. So we worked with the community association where they live to put in a playground in my sister's memory (she was a big kid at heart so it was appropriate). The playground has a panel with birds soaring and her name on it.

[Gentleladybear]

Deb my heart goes out to you. Take good care of yourself. Spoil yourself a little and get plenty of rest. (((((((Hugs)))))))))