Tell Me This Won't Happen To Us!

[mitch5252]

..

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.'
And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing
home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or
two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately,
their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to
play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a
long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and
thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is...'

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to
know?'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone
rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way
on Interstate 77... Please be careful!'

Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of
them!'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came
to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on
through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be
losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After
a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light
was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger
seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really
concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and
they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and Said,
'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a
row? You could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, dang, am I driving ?'


..

[BarbaraRose]

Loved the Supersex one the best!

[sharon]

[VickieP]

After riding with you in your van I can relate to the driver not being able to see over the dash.

[mitch5252]

..

Ya know - these short jokes are just M E A N ! ! !
Why are you always so mean?
I can't help it if I'm short, but you CAN help it if you're a doofus...



..

[VickieP]

..

Ya know - these short jokes are just M E A N ! ! !
Why are you always so mean?
I can't help it if I'm short, but you CAN help it if you're a doofus...



..

Kiss, Kiss!

[OutandAbout]

Linda

[Carolinagal]

I laughed on the last one, where the ole lady, was surprised to learn she WAS driving !!!
NO, this will not happen to us. Keep that thought in mind !!! Remember positive thinking.

Good for a real laugh anyway,
Carol