Post From RV DOT NET - Pretty Funny
Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 10:51 amAfter the past two years of reading complaints about dogs, kids, walking through sites, loud music, and lights left on all night, I decided to post my rules. Before you get your panties in a knot, this is all meant to be "tongue in cheek"!
Rules that would make me happier when camping:
1) No outdoor cooking. I don't want to smell your dinner.
2) No sitting outside in a lawn chair. You give me the creeps staring at me when I walk or drive by.
3) No talking on the trails. I want to hear the birds, crickets, and leaves rustling.
4) No goofy lights all over your site. If you want a patio, buy a house, or go back to yours!
5) No music please. If I wanted to hear music, I would be playing it myself.
6) No guitars. Dude... If you could play the thing, you would be on tour somewhere- not camping.
7) No health nuts. I don't want you running around the park. I don't like it.
8) No campers under 55. I just can't relate to young people.
9) No campers over 55. I just can't relate to old people.
10) No reading under a tree. School is out. I don't want reminders of it.
11) No bikes. I don't want them zipping around me.
12) No fat people. If I want to see that, I'll install a mirror in my camper.
13) No skinny people. You need a reason for that one?
14) No helpers or advice givers. If I wanted your help, I would come and get it from you.
15) No rugs on your sites. It's nature! You don't need that.
16) No family signs. I don't care who you are. It bugs me.
17) No plants around your site. (see number 4)
18) No dogs but mine.It upsets them.
19) No couples. I don't want to hear you bicker. Public displays of affection make me nauseous.
20) Keep it covered in the bath house. Mine is the only one I need to see.
Rules that would make me happier when camping:
1) No outdoor cooking. I don't want to smell your dinner.
2) No sitting outside in a lawn chair. You give me the creeps staring at me when I walk or drive by.
3) No talking on the trails. I want to hear the birds, crickets, and leaves rustling.
4) No goofy lights all over your site. If you want a patio, buy a house, or go back to yours!
5) No music please. If I wanted to hear music, I would be playing it myself.
6) No guitars. Dude... If you could play the thing, you would be on tour somewhere- not camping.
7) No health nuts. I don't want you running around the park. I don't like it.
8) No campers under 55. I just can't relate to young people.
9) No campers over 55. I just can't relate to old people.
10) No reading under a tree. School is out. I don't want reminders of it.
11) No bikes. I don't want them zipping around me.
12) No fat people. If I want to see that, I'll install a mirror in my camper.
13) No skinny people. You need a reason for that one?
14) No helpers or advice givers. If I wanted your help, I would come and get it from you.
15) No rugs on your sites. It's nature! You don't need that.
16) No family signs. I don't care who you are. It bugs me.
17) No plants around your site. (see number 4)
18) No dogs but mine.It upsets them.
19) No couples. I don't want to hear you bicker. Public displays of affection make me nauseous.
20) Keep it covered in the bath house. Mine is the only one I need to see.
